Not many people relish conflict. When you are shy and lacking confidence, it's even worse.
There are ways to navigate the storm with calm and ease. Here are some of them:
Active Listening
When someone is clearly annoyed with you, maybe even shouting, it can be difficult to focus on their words.
Never be tempted to shout back. That just puts fuel on their fire.
Instead, listen calmly to what the person is saying. You may disagree with them, but at least you have allowed them to be heard.
Use ‘I’ Statements
When you are able to speak, stay calm.
Avoid the temptation to lay blame with words like ‘You make me feel…..’
Instead, use ‘I’ statements.
‘At the moment I am feeling hurt by what just happened.’
Show Empathy
Acknowledge the other person’s point of view and their feelings.
‘I understand that you are angry right now and I hear what you have said.’
Look for a Solution Rather Than Blame
Is there a way to discuss how to settle the issue calmly and adultly?
If this is not the right time, perhaps agree to meet when you both feel ready.
Respect the other person
You may not like the other person’s behaviour or agree with what they have said. Be the bigger person, though, and treat them with respect and dignity. This has nothing to do with accepting bad behaviour or letting them treat you badly. It's showing yourself as a decent human being.
Use Assertive Body Language
Assertive body language is not threatening, it’s standing tall, speaking clearly and maintaining eye contact.
Using these actions will not only make you look confident, but you will feel confident, too.
I hope these actions will benefit you at some point, when you need them. Any questions or comments, just let me know.
Until next week
Much love
Sue xx
If you are at the point where you want to build your unshakeable self-confidence, then reach out to me at sue@suereidcoaching.com, and let’s have a chat.