We feel overwhelmed whenever we have more on our plate than we can handle. This can apply to anything, from a heavy workload to having too many people asking for things simultaneously. It can even kick in when we see too many options on a menu!
When you are overwhelmed coupled with low self-confidence, anxiety starts to kick in.
Low self-confidence means you are not trusting yourself to carry out a task.
You already worry that you are not good enough at your job. Having more to do just adds to the tension.
You find it difficult to make decisions in case you get it wrong. More choices = more chance of failing.
You have a goal you are trying to achieve, but getting there seems too far away.
This creates a downward spiral of not feeling good enough and not being able to cope.
So, what to do?
Let's separate the anxiety from the overwhelm for a start.
Anxiety
The feelings that come over you during anxiety are feelings of fear.
We feel fear whenever our built-in alarm system senses danger.
There are proven ways to stop anxiety from taking hold and causing a panic attack:
Accept that you are feeling anxious. The alarm is going off; there is no point in ignoring it.
Slow down your breathing. This helps to switch the alarm off because you would not be breathing slowly if there were real danger.
Imagine you are breathing all the way down to your toes. Slow and deep breathing.
Focus on where you feel anxious in your body. Repeat something like, ‘I am safe’ a few times until you calm down.
Notice the feeling starting to fade.
The more you practice this, the quicker it will move.
Overwhelm
There is a saying, ‘How do you eat an elephant?’
Answer: one bite at a time.
This is exactly how you deal with overwhelm.
Remember, I said that overwhelm is having more on your plate than you can handle.
Stop looking at the whole plate and try looking at what is on your fork instead.
In other words, look at the pile of work you have to do:
What is one thing that you can do immediately to get it out of the way? Don’t spend ages looking for something. Give yourself 10 seconds to pick a task.
Once you have got that one out of the way, repeat with another, then another.
Keep taking bites out of the elephant.
Both being overwhelmed and anxious are states of mind. Yes, I know the symptoms of anxiety can be unpleasant; I have been there. But trust me, this is still a state of mind, and you can change it.
What about the example where you have a decision to make with too many options, such as the menu?
Rather than stare at the whole menu, what type of food would you like?
Without looking at the menu, what food would you choose if you could have anything?
Now, look for something similar on the menu. What is the nearest fit?
If you feel brave, ask if the chef will cook the meal you were thinking of.
When you build your confidence, you regain control of your mind.
This is the point where you start to realise there are no limits to what you can do if you put your mind to it.
Anxiety and overwhelm will cause you to spiral downwards if you do not catch them in time. This is why it is important to watch your thoughts and catch the negative ones as they come up. Don’t try to push them away but don't attach meaning to them. Just have a mental mantra of ‘move on, negative thought’ as they come in.
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Much love - Sue xx
How else can I serve you?
I have a book ‘Building Confidence: How to Thrive as a Shy Person’
I have a weekly podcast on all major platforms – ‘Building Confidence.’
I provide 1 on 1 coaching via zoom for self-confidence issues in any area