Accepting my body for what it is was the most difficult part for me. I'm learning to do that. The I little girl in me appreciates that because I had to be someone else to survive in my family. Really insightful article,Sue. Feeling safe is so crucial for a working nervous system.
Thank you so much Yuko. I hear you and understand completely. I am glad you are learning to love your whole self. I hope you now can feel safe to return to yourself and not your family’s version of who you should be ❤️🤗
I love this question: “Who am I beneath everything I’ve learned to be?” Sometimes healing isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about giving yourself permission to come home to who you’ve always been.
Beautiful Sue. I really related to the part about changing your life on the outside while still carrying the ways you learned to protect yourself in the old one. A safer life does not immediately feel safe when you are still apologising, checking and expecting something to go wrong.
The question, “Who am I beneath everything I’ve learned to be?” really stayed with me. I also loved that returning to yourself happened through small, ordinary choices. Each time you spoke to yourself more kindly, said no or trusted what felt right, you were giving yourself new evidence that you no longer had to live by the old rules. I think that is often how self-trust slowly grows.
Thank you so much Sara. I agree about how self-trust grows through those small choices every day. I have been writing about a different topic around confidence every month this year. Self- trust was June’s topic. 💕
The one thing that stood out for me in this was the simple statement, "I forgave my younger self". This is something I am working on, but it is hard because it is difficult to forget all the pain and anguish I caused with my behaviour. Your journey to get back in touch with your real self is truly an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your remarkable story.
Thank you Thom. I look back too and hate myself sometimes. I know I upset my father especially and we never really made our peace. That hurts. But if I don’t move on, I remain a prisoner in the past.
My mother had hundreds of little sayings. One was ‘There is no use in crying over spilt milk’. It is true. What’s done is done. All you can do is forgive and move on to a new page. Yes it is difficult to forget, but you can tell your mind that you are not letting that story in anymore. It’s over. 💕
Sue - First off, I love the picture of you front and center of this essay. Well done and well chosen. And I also love how you highlight what you experienced post divorce and the journey of understanding that ensued.
I rather like what you are laying down within the essay - it made me think....how much of me is already there versus how much of me is still becoming.....meaning, for me, I want that balance and integration between the two.
Thank you. I actually love this photo. It has been quite a journey and documenting it this year has given me a few interesting realisations.
I love that you mention how much is already there and how much you are still becoming. That is exactly where I visualise the reader of my book will be; someone who has done the work but still feels something is missing. 💕
Yes, I’m generally a bit leary when someone leaves the whole mechanism of change in the lap of - I went back to who I was at the beginning. I get it if we are speaking about trauma - but I also believe in ongoing change in later stages of development as well.
We are all in the process of Becoming (our) Own Story.
We can direct the story to how we want it to be. To live in moments of joy 💕
We are so on the same page Sue.
I recently wrote an article about coming home to yourself. A topic that has been coming to mind several times this year.
Oh really. Sorry I missed it. I will have a read. What was the title? 💕
Coming Home To Yourself 😍
Ok great 💕
Accepting my body for what it is was the most difficult part for me. I'm learning to do that. The I little girl in me appreciates that because I had to be someone else to survive in my family. Really insightful article,Sue. Feeling safe is so crucial for a working nervous system.
Thank you so much Yuko. I hear you and understand completely. I am glad you are learning to love your whole self. I hope you now can feel safe to return to yourself and not your family’s version of who you should be ❤️🤗
I love this question: “Who am I beneath everything I’ve learned to be?” Sometimes healing isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about giving yourself permission to come home to who you’ve always been.
Thank you Florence. I love that question too. It is going in my book 💕
Loved this part: "Just improving our circumstances doesn’t instantly reset our internal systems."
And loved your picture too! 💕💕
Thank you so much, Ilham. It’s true, it does take our nervous system a while to calm back down. It has to know the ‘danger’ is over, ❤️
Yes, and I'm learning that knowing with our minds and knowing with our bodies are two different things.
Quite ❤️
Beautiful Sue. I really related to the part about changing your life on the outside while still carrying the ways you learned to protect yourself in the old one. A safer life does not immediately feel safe when you are still apologising, checking and expecting something to go wrong.
The question, “Who am I beneath everything I’ve learned to be?” really stayed with me. I also loved that returning to yourself happened through small, ordinary choices. Each time you spoke to yourself more kindly, said no or trusted what felt right, you were giving yourself new evidence that you no longer had to live by the old rules. I think that is often how self-trust slowly grows.
Thank you so much Sara. I agree about how self-trust grows through those small choices every day. I have been writing about a different topic around confidence every month this year. Self- trust was June’s topic. 💕
The one thing that stood out for me in this was the simple statement, "I forgave my younger self". This is something I am working on, but it is hard because it is difficult to forget all the pain and anguish I caused with my behaviour. Your journey to get back in touch with your real self is truly an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your remarkable story.
Thank you Thom. I look back too and hate myself sometimes. I know I upset my father especially and we never really made our peace. That hurts. But if I don’t move on, I remain a prisoner in the past.
My mother had hundreds of little sayings. One was ‘There is no use in crying over spilt milk’. It is true. What’s done is done. All you can do is forgive and move on to a new page. Yes it is difficult to forget, but you can tell your mind that you are not letting that story in anymore. It’s over. 💕
My dad had a similar, “let go your regrets they keep your feet in what was.”
Exactly ❤️
Sue - First off, I love the picture of you front and center of this essay. Well done and well chosen. And I also love how you highlight what you experienced post divorce and the journey of understanding that ensued.
I rather like what you are laying down within the essay - it made me think....how much of me is already there versus how much of me is still becoming.....meaning, for me, I want that balance and integration between the two.
Thank you. I actually love this photo. It has been quite a journey and documenting it this year has given me a few interesting realisations.
I love that you mention how much is already there and how much you are still becoming. That is exactly where I visualise the reader of my book will be; someone who has done the work but still feels something is missing. 💕
Yes, I’m generally a bit leary when someone leaves the whole mechanism of change in the lap of - I went back to who I was at the beginning. I get it if we are speaking about trauma - but I also believe in ongoing change in later stages of development as well.
I don’t miss any of the people I have let go. Not one bit.
Read the post Kelvin.